Day 11,795 – My Wedding Day, My One and Only

Twenty-four years ago this week, Barbara and I were married on a beautiful day in Lake Luzerne, New York. And my life has been immeasurably better ever since.

We met in 1986, performing across from each other in a community theatre production of “Anything Goes”. Corny, right? The romantic leads become attracted to one another and romance blossoms. I wasn’t looking for it, wasn’t expecting it. Community theatre was a way to pass the time that appealed to my creative side. It’s where I learned a lot about collaboration and teamwork. People come together for three months with nothing but a script and a director and produce an evening of entertainment that the local community can enjoy.  Sometimes they form close bonds in preparing the show. Sometimes, people fall in love.

In Lake George, 1998

And so it was for us. With her two children, I was suddenly a parent, and had a new life to learn about. Reading stories before bed. Bath rituals. Eating leftover french fries from the happy meals (I think I gained ten pounds that first year). At work, I had never understood the mother-in-law jokes. And after being married to Barbara, I still didn’t. Her mother was one of the most important people in our lives throughout her remaining life. When she passed in 2005, it was tough for all of us.

Rule number one with Barbara was pretty straightforward: Love me, love my kids. That’s all. If you’re not ready for this, leave me alone and let’s both move on. So I sold the five speed performance car and bought a station wagon, and when child number three arrived, the mini-van.

I was fortunate in so many ways. First and foremost in meeting Barbara. But secondly with her willingness to consider moving over time – with trying different places to live and explore. Moving away from family with the assurance that we would find ways to stay connected. Our older kids never lost connection with their father, and as adults still respect him as much as ever. We worked hard before even our first move to make the transition for them as easy as possible. I know it was hard, but they learned, as so many of their generation have, to make it work.

At Disney World, 2001

When I look back today, I think about the traditional wedding vows: In good times and bad. In sickness and in health. That pretty much covers it. We’ve had all those and one thing has been constant – Barbara’s dedication to family. To her children and to me.

It won’t be too much longer before I will have spent half my life with this amazing woman.

To celebrate this year, we went to Las Vegas, primarily to see Celine Dion perform. Every song felt like it was about us. Whether it was “Because You Loved Me”, “Overjoyed” with Stevie Wonder, or “My Heart Will Go On”, we were mesmerized and living in the same feelings we had in 1986. It was a memorable week, and a great anniversary.

At a family wedding, 2011

So here’s is to my loving, selfless, wife. My better half, in every sense of the word. Barbara, you have brought out the best in me. You are the woman behind the man, the force that brings the family together, the joy in every day, and reason I look forward to each tomorrow.

I love you, always.

6 Responses to Day 11,795 – My Wedding Day, My One and Only
  1. BarbaraNo Gravatar
    August 8, 2011 | 9:15 am

    I am in love with you.


    timNo Gravatar Reply:



  2. BethNo Gravatar
    August 8, 2011 | 9:42 am

    I love you guys!!!!! Happy Anniversary!!! and here’s to another 50years!!!!! Miss you!!!!!!


    timNo Gravatar Reply:

    Thanks Beth. We miss you and Kevin too. June already seems like too long ago!


  3. Bruce JacksonNo Gravatar
    August 18, 2011 | 10:50 am

    Tim you should be writing a book not a blog.
    As I am reading, I am filling with emotion that I did not realize, until today, I subconsciously conceal. Your writing is titled, Day 11,795 – My Wedding Day, My One and Only, but you write of my sister, YOUR children, my mother, and her family in whole with great love, respect and living memories.
    I envy you. Not for your love of family, we both have that, but for how you show it. I joined the US Air Force to grow as a human being and I learned a great deal, but it did one thing to me that I regret. It made me so disciplined mentally that the only way to not feel the loneliness and the never ending longing for home was to shut myself off from family. June 4th was becoming a blur and I was beginning to forget that that weekend of seeing Barbara and you and everyone, was WAY TOO SHORT. The feeling of seeing my sister for the first time in 5 years and leaving again after an inadequate amount of time is making me feel sadness and remorse.
    I have two things to say to you:
    1. Happy Belated Anniversary to you and Barbara and
    2. THANK YOU!!!!

    I LOVE and MISS you both – kiss Barbara for me.

    Love, Bruce


    timNo Gravatar Reply:

    Thanks for your kind words Bruce. It was a very short weekend and we were happy to get a chance to see you and the girls as well.


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